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Joke of the Day

"Why is Batman so jealous of Superman? Because he has 3 dead parents and Bruce only has 2"

"Even a broken clock is right twice a day, unless it lives with a woman"

"What did the pirate say to his sister? Aye sis"

"Now if they could just make PokemonStop.. I could sit and actually enjoy this game! In playin pokemon Yellow right now ; p"

"What has been in the news specifically because it comes in small boxes? Jared's penis"

"Did you hear Buzz Lightyear was arrested? He was charged with battery."

"A cup of coffee just walked up to my girlfriend and called her a 'whore'. I didn't even react. I think my caffeine tolerance is too high"

"Where do you hide after a murder? Behind a badge."

"So my girlfriend's sign was Cancer. which is quite ironic considering how she died. She was attacked by a giant crab..."

"Damn girl are you a Rubik's cube? Because fuck you, you stupid piece of shit."