152865

Joke of the Day

"So Russia has been running out of resources lately... I guess you can call them the Red Scarce."

"What's the difference between a nicely dressed man on a bicycle and a poorly dressed man on a tricycle? [x-post from r/bicycling] Attire"

"A Dumb blonde is pulled over by a cop... He says: You were going 95km/h. The dumb blonde responds: but I haven't been driving for an hour."

"A man with amnesia starts a joke..."

"People always ask me, where do I come up with my status', do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs."

"Live tweeting tomorrow's hangover tonight."

"I saw this guy in Walmart... ...who was bashing his head on the border between aisles 9 and 10. He said ""Go away muggle, I'm trying to get into aisle 9 3/4!"""

"Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway."

"My Muslim coworker brought a CD version of the Quran to work today. He got really pissed off when I asked if I could burn a copy."

"I left my girlfriend because her orgasms were too brief. I just could not accept her shortcomings."