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Joke of the Day

"I saw this guy in Walmart... ...who was bashing his head on the border between aisles 9 and 10. He said ""Go away muggle, I'm trying to get into aisle 9 3/4!"""

Next Joke
 
"*Food arrives* *Waits 3 days* *Slowly takes bite of food* *Waitress appears from under the table in camouflage* HOW IS EVERYTHING??"
"It's just an alarm clock Really, it is. http://imgur.com/tdZrIAB"
"So this girl asked me what I look for in women I told her, ""3 holes and a heart beat"""
"Sometimes I get to lazy to fini"
"Man bumps into my shoulder ""You're lucky this isn't the Internet pal"""
"Read more Accountant jokes"
"a fun thing to do if your wife leaves her fb open: post an argument you had but switch who said what and watch her friends agree with 'her'"
"Scientist: our large brains are what allows us to survive so successfully 10,000 Year Old Tree: k"
"Unemployment gives you time to follow your true passion: Worrying about money."