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Joke of the Day

"My Muslim coworker brought a CD version of the Quran to work today. He got really pissed off when I asked if I could burn a copy."

"Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, ""Suck what?"""

"Pro-tip Ladies, try to refrain from plucking that one crazy hair from his nose while he's sleeping. He won't think it's as funny as you do."

"""Have you heard about the new pirate movie?"" ""It's rated aaarrrrrrrr."""

"What is Spider-Man's favorite rice? Uncle Bens!"

"So my proctologist has OCD... I went in for an exam. He was very anal."

"I think I'm allergic to cats. They give me stomach aches."

"A man using apple maps walks into a bar.. ..or maybe it was a church or a grocery store or something"

"Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into."

"Why is it so cold in San Francisco? Giant fans."