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Joke of the Day
"Some things are better left unsaid, but I'm probably gonna get drunk and say them anyway."
Next Joke
"People who know me say I'm condescending. That means I talk down to people."
"Probably karma that Will Smith made a song about parents not understanding and then had a son who literally no one understands."
"What do Japanese men do when they have an erection? They vote."
"""Please stop being mean"" - Me 3 seconds in to a rap battle"
"9 out of 10 dentists will agree to anything you want them to for 100 bucks."
"A bird just landed on Bernie Sanders' podium during a speech It's a shame it was just a bird and not 800 delegates"
"Saw some snails fighting in my driveway... They were really slugging it out."
"There's a gang in my area... There's a gang in my area who recruit new members by threatening them with all kinds of horrible punishments if they don't join. But enough about the church..."
"I bet the government is behind all these conspiracy theories."