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Joke of the Day

"What do dark humour and food have in common? Only some people get it."

"Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work."

"If you slowly put your fingers in someone's mouth, they will quit telling you about their day at work."

"Did you hear about the med student caught picking up hookers? He claimed he was studying whore moans."

"Why do Asians have such small tits? Because they can only get As."

"[I open my lunchbox to find flask of whisky] But that means.... [Cut to my 4 y/o opening her lunchbox to find a flask of whisky]"

"Whats the best part about fingering a gypsy on her period? you get your palm read for free"

"Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human."

"""Oh is it by the Starbucks?"" Um... everything's by a Starbucks"

"Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than Hitler? (OFFENSIVE) Because they actually managed to end a race."