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Joke of the Day

"Kevin Spacey once agreed to do a low-budget movie with a badly-written two-dimensional character... ...on the condition that he be credited in the cast as ""Kevin Planey."""

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"ME: haha u dare me to take off all my clothes and run thru this park COP: no ME: wow I cant believe ur making me do this lol COP: I'm not"
"Why is a baby like an diamond? Because it's a dear little thing."
"My burrito brings all the boys to the yard and they're like, ""Careful, everything is falling out from the other side."""
"If I had a Dollar, If I had a dollar for every time a homeless person asked for change, I would still pretend to have not heard them."
"Woman across from me will NOT shut up about her where she works. Ugh, I hate job interviews."
"Super hot girl working the snack stand at the theater ... and I just ordered a ""cockporn with extra butter"". Thanks brain."
"What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360? The dashboard."
"What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *gargling noise*"
"What kind of sweets do trucks like? Lorrypops."