152389

Joke of the Day

"Kevin Spacey once agreed to do a low-budget movie with a badly-written two-dimensional character... ...on the condition that he be credited in the cast as ""Kevin Planey."""

Next Joke
 
"What's the best way to fuck a red-headed virgin? gingerly (wrote this today, if anyone has ever heard it or can find a past use, I am dying to know)"
"What is E.T short for? Because it has little legs."
"When your parents held you as a baby for the first time, they secretly hoped you'd end up arguing with strangers on a celebrity's Instagram."
"Yo mama so fat... ... The holiday photos are still printing"
"I'm dyslexic, atheist and an insomniac... I stay up all night wondering if there *really* is a Dog."
"Which spice is the worst at keeping secrets? Only thyme will tell."
"How do you know if you are at a gay picnic? The hot dogs taste like shit."
"HR: Sir, why is your secretary standing with tens of underwear in hand? Boss: Damn, I asked her to debrief all the interns before the meeting."
"A terrorist walks into a Akbar"