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Joke of the Day
"""Guys. You guys. GUYS. Guys. YOU GUYS. Guys. Guys. GUYS."" - guy who discovered ice cream"
Next Joke
"My wife nominated me to do the ice bucket challenge. I'm a little confused. Has anyone else been asked to hold a toaster at the same time?"
"Trying to open a Capri Sun is the longest relationship I've had in 2015."
"I had to study a book on the human digestive system today.... The ending was shit"
"When chemists die, ...do they barium?"
"HER: You didn't make a reservation? ME: I got this. (to Maitre D') Perhaps *this* will jog your memory? M: A handful of Skittles, sir?"
"Why do we need iron in our diets? Because it's good ferrous."
"How do you make your penis bigger? Eat chicken and watermelon then wash it down with grape drink."
"I got the job as a psychic! I don't know how."
"That awkward moment when... When Mars has more water than California..."