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Joke of the Day

"Girl finds out that she's pregnant... And goes to tell her mum about it. Her mum asks; ""Have you had a check-up?"" Girl says; ""No, he was Polish"""

"My Girlfriend broke up with me because I don't last long in bed... I told her if she ever changes her mind, all she has to do is phone and I'll come straight away."

"ME: Well, time to make like a tree, and leaf. HER: *giggling* So, my place or... ME: *starts sprouting leaves from my fingers* HER: WHAT THE"

"My money box is empty... No change there."

"a giraffe, a zebra, a hippo, and a mouse walk into a bar all of the animals hit their head on the bar except for the mouse which walked easily beneath it"

"Yo Mama so dumb she put lipstick on her fore-head to make up her mind."

"*Meeting GF parents* What are your intentions with our daughter? Uh I need someone to sing the girl parts of Grease songs with me"

"I guy stumbled into a bar..... ...**OUCH**"

"My grandmother reads obituary column in the newspaper everyday. It is pretty much like searching for your childhood friends on Facebook."

"Yesterday it was so hot that my gun started overheating. It was sweating bullets."