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Joke of the Day

"My grandmother reads obituary column in the newspaper everyday. It is pretty much like searching for your childhood friends on Facebook."

"I like Gila monsters because they're willing to admit they're monsters, unlike giraffes"

"My son challenged my wife & I to a game of hide-and-seek. We took off for the weekend and left him some food. In your face, loser!"

"Just took a power nap on a park bench. Made $7.30 in change."

"Bowling would be more interesting if it were slightly uphill."

"July 4th PSA: On one hand fireworks are a lot of fun. On the other hand I only have 2 fingers."

"How do you confuse an idiot? Give him two spades and ask him to take his pick."

"'Tis the season to pull copious amounts of tinsel out of your dog's butthole."

"A man walked into a bar ""Ouch"""

"that awkward moment when you stub your toe and accidentally summon the spirits of a thousand dead feet while you yell and curse"