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Joke of the Day

"Test results are in, you might want to have a seat ""I'd rather stand"" Are you sure? You have ""Falls Down When Gets Bad News"" disease *Thud*"

"Apparently ""some assembly required"" is IKEA for ""here's a beech tree and some nails."""

"A weasel walks into a bar And asks for a beer. The bartender says ""we can't serve alcohol to you."" ""I'll just take a pop"" goes the weasel."

"Turning 40 When my best friend turned 40, I sent him a CD in the mail: UB40. 2 months later, on my 40th, I received a CD in the mail from him: U2."

"What sound does a turkey now make? Coup."

"Why did the hipster drown? They tried to skate on the river before it was cool."

"Whenever a guy boasts he has a party in his pants, I always ask him to prove it. If he's not packin nachos, beer and M&Ms, I'm going home."

"How does a white girl prepare for the world? Basic training."

"What did the Mexican say when I pushed him on the lawn? Grassy Ass!"

"If 7 out of 10 sports fans have below average intelligence, what percentage of sports fans is that? 110%. [Aaaaaand we prove once again that morons are humorless. Really should know that by now.]"