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Joke of the Day
"Apparently ""some assembly required"" is IKEA for ""here's a beech tree and some nails."""
Next Joke
"I figured out Inception, guys. The whole thing was really a movie."
"The Tomato Pastor began his sermon to the Salad Congregation ""Lettuce pray"""
"My grandfather died in Auschwitz... He died after falling from the guard tower"
"I've wrecked my car yet I still weigh the same. This crash diet is for the birds."
"Ferguson joke. Too soon? Black guy walks into a bar in Ferguson. Says to the bartender, ""Give me a Michael Brown."" Bartender says ""Ok. Put up your hands."" the gave him six shots."
"Just had a very embarrassing misunderstanding with my new Irish girlfriend. Turns out she just wanted me to take her in the Yaris."
"How does Dracula eat his food? In *bite* size pieces"
"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet."
"I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, ""Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!"" I said, ""Wow!"" Then her friend said, ""She means 666-3629."""