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Joke of the Day

"If 7 out of 10 sports fans have below average intelligence, what percentage of sports fans is that? 110%. [Aaaaaand we prove once again that morons are humorless. Really should know that by now.]"

"The last time people got so upset over a cup.. It involved two girls."

"Chinese takeout, $15.00, gas to get there, $1.50.... ... Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes. ... ... Riceless."

"What does DJ Khaled call his mexican friends? Another Juan"

"Lois : Clark, are those binoculars? Clark Kent : Yes, I can't find my glasses. Lois : Put them down for a second. Clark : Lois : Clark : No"

"A sergeant and two men from his unit walk into a bar 'Would you like to play pool?' The sergeant asked the attractive barmaid. 'No thanks darling' she replies. 'I'd rather play with your privates.'"

"Why did the ""H"" kill himself Because the ""G"" had..."

"Sensei: always expect the unexpected *pulls out picnic blanket* Me: *instantly pulls out picnic basket* Sensei: *hands me ninja diploma*"

"What's the difference between a microwave and anal sex? A microwave doesn't brown your meat"

"So, I finally hacked the Area 51 and copied all their files and posted them online at... [deleted]"