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Joke of the Day
"I'm sick of all of the Irish stereotypes... As soon as I finish this drink I'm punching someone"
Next Joke
"Why do Buddhists always buy 1 ply toilet paper? Because they like to get in touch with their inner self."
"JUDGE: I hereby sentence you t- PENGUIN COURT REPORTER: *angrily smashing keyboard with flippers* CAN YOU GUYS SLOW DOWN A BIT"
"How does Donald Trump adopt pets? He just grabs the first pussy he sees."
"What do you call a dinosaur that practices Islam? A Quranosaurus."
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the P is silent"
"""Ebola"" is trending on Twitter... ...does that mean it's gone viral?"
"This poster that says ""Green Day: Sold Out"" is right in two ways"
"So I said 'I love you' but he didn't say it back. We haven't spoken since. Maybe he just needs space. Vet: Your cat's fine. You can go now."
"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter"