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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a cockroach and the Japanese? A nuke won't kill a cockroach"

"Dating is good practice for parenting because you learn not to care when someone is crying in a restaurant."

"Why did the chick disappoint his mother? Because he wasn't all he was *cracked up* to be."

"My sexual desires have been getting out of control... But it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I knew I'd hit rock bottom."

"I was going to watch a documentary on the Malaysian Airlines But I couldn't find it."

"Child: Dad, I don't like the goldfish... Dad: Shut up and eat your dinner."

"Have you heard about the 2 Spanish firemen? Jose and hose B"

"You're not allowed to tweet screenshots of chats where you're the one who says the funny thing."

"Q: What's the differents between Bill Clinton and an elephant? A: About 20 pounds and a jogging suit."

"He told me he wants my heart ""Sharon I'm pretty sure he's a serial killer"" No way! *later on with guy* Wow you're really into bondage huh?"