151687

Joke of the Day

"Girl at engineering school: I'm like the single-most clumsy person [5 male engineering students emerge from bushes] ""Did you say single?"""

"There is no idea so bad that it cannot be made to look brilliant with the right application of fonts and colours"

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race"

"I used to take naps on a bike until someone stole the tires They really messed with my sleep cycle."

"Why are muslim people so kind-hearted? Because they don't live long, especially when they're a bomb"

"What happens when Kim Jong-un gets sick? He turns into Kim Jong-ill!"

"""You think only God can judge you?"" *Judge Judy spins around in chair to face you* ""Well THINK AGAIN!"" *bangs gavel so hard it breaks*"

"I go to the bank wearing a Ski mask because I want everyone to know how athletic I am."

"I say I want a gf but I don't even know what I'd do with one. Do you just kiss her and leave her alone in a corner? How often does it eat?"

"How Do You Kill An Anorexic? Tell Her To Lose Just One More Pound And She'll Be Beautiful."