114498

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler? Phelps can finish a race"

"What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!"

"I make weak food puns They're never stroganoff."

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand? Cuatro cinco"

"What do you call a fishermans newborn? Fresh bait"

"I wouldn't say I never exercise. Occasionally, my nose runs."

"ME: Eat your lemon PIRATE: No ME: It stops scurvy PIRATE: [folds arms, shuts eye] ME: [carves tiny skull on lemon] PIRATE: [opens eye a bit]"

"What is more funny than a penguin sliding down a hill? The penguin who pushed him!"

"You should never be sad. Because sad backwards is das.. ..and das not good."

"I really love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face but with words."