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Joke of the Day

"I heard 80% of all accident happen within 10 miles of home. So I moved."

"If all the Domino's employees in the world held hands, you'd have to make your own pizza."

"7 thoughts u have when buzfeed steals ur content -WTF -OMG -Huh -FAIL -LOL -NOPE -why is a multimilion dollar website riping off my twiter"

"Remember the guy who played in the deer hunter, and pulp fiction? Christopher something or other... Anyway, I heard that he's opening a new hospital. They're calling it the Walken clinic."

"One you haven't heard- What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window? Curt 'n Rod"

"The grocery store employees who stock the milk from behind the coolers don't like it when you grab their hands just to see if they're clean."

"*consoling friend who is a baker* I'm really sorry about the fire at your bread shop. Looks like your business is toast now."

"Today is the anniversary of legal abortions in the US or as the coat hanger industry calls it, Black Friday."

"I hope that when the zombies finally do come, they're all dyslexic and they only go after Brians."

"What should you do if your car's engine is running slow? Get it to do some CARdio"