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Joke of the Day

"Today is the anniversary of legal abortions in the US or as the coat hanger industry calls it, Black Friday."

"Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex? Because he always drops the bass."

"USA soccer We Ghana win."

"Whenever the Starbucks guy asks for my name I laugh and whisper ""I'm seeing someone"""

"In the future a kid asks his grandfather a question. -Grampa? What does this tattoo mean? -Ahh, sonny, it's TIFU. Today I ff...uck."

"Last Night my Fiance asked me to tell her something sweet Me "" Hey I'm never gonna give you up... never gonna let you down..."" Her ""That's it the engagement is off. Goodnight."""

"My black friend got offended when I told him a racist joke I told him to lighten up"

"You're so ugly, when you were born your mom said... ""What a treasure"" and your dad said ""Lets go bury it!"""

"I bought a Valentine's Day card for everyone at our local Tourette's Society... It's the thought that cunts!"

"What do you call a clown that gives you flowers? A Romantic Jester!"