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Joke of the Day

"One you haven't heard- What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window? Curt 'n Rod"

"Still trying to figure out how to compliment a woman's skin without sounding like I want to wear it"

"Dear Tech Support, I twied to puth my tongue in tha USthB port again. Canth you helpf?"

"""When you fall in love it burns and you die, right?"" Yes, son. Love is terrible. ""No Mom, I said LAVA."" Oh. You maybe can survive that one."

"What's the difference between a pizza and a gym teacher? A pizza can actually feed a family of four."

"My dad drove in a pothole and his tire popped, this is how it went Badum-tsss"

"Someone told me I was obsessed with the song ""Wonderwall"". I said ""Maybe""."

"How can you tell if a black woman is pregnant? When she pulls the tampon out the cotton is already picked."

"Divorce lawyers all over the world are rubbing their hands together in glee now that Twitter DM has a picture function."

"i went to a 5 Guys burgers and fries and there was only one guy. im just gonna say what were all thinking. the other 4 guys died at benghazi"