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Joke of the Day

"Why did the policeman wake up his son? He saw a *kid napping*."

"What's a neckbeard's favorite pie? Lemon m'ringue pie"

"Kanye running for president in 2020"

"If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check"

"""No, everything's fine"" must've been a great phrase to say before women got hold of it."

"One is the loneliest number. Seven is kinda racist. Nine needs to just come out already. Four drinks to forget. Three is angry, so so angry."

"Have you seen the movie about constipation? It hasn't come out yet!"

"I really feel bad that 9/11 happened. If it hadn't, America wouldn't be suffering right now over the rememberance shows and lack of good television."

"""My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met."""

"June Bugs are like College Dropouts They sleep all day, they party at night, and after a month, you don't see them anymore.."