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Joke of the Day

"Have you seen the movie about constipation? It hasn't come out yet!"

"What's it called when the bottom half of a fraction has loads of cake in it? A denom-nom-nominator!"

"Why can't a bike stand on it's own? Because it is two tired."

"There are 3 kinds of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can't."

"What did Woody say to Buzz? A lot. There were 3 movies."

"I'm donating my body to science. I'm getting sick of it taking up space in the freezer."

"Did you hear about what happened when the anime studio tried to make a sex-ed video? Kids kept getting confused about why the octopus was showing up."

"[sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious! Waiter: Ma'am, you can't try drinks on other tables. Please sit down."

"I don't know how I feel about masturbation anymore... On one hand, it's pretty good. On the other hand, it's a little awkward."

"Why are yogurt eaters sophisticated? Because they're WELL-CULTURED."