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Joke of the Day

"MUST WATCH heartwarming video! Limbless man rents himself as talking door stop for rich people to afford daughter's seizure medication."

"TIL that 1/100 people have undiagnosed dyslexia Whoops, wrong bus."

"""Come together, right now, over me."" -Beatles lyrics or gangbang dialogue"

"A begger walks up to me... And asks, ""do you have a few extra dollars I can have?"" I said, ""I have a few dollars, but they aren't extra."""

"What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? One is a little heavier and the other is a little lighter."

"I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said ""NOTHING"""

"Meaningless statistics are up 17% today"

"Today my girlfriend said she loved me more than anything else, and didn't know what she'd do without me. It's the nicest thing any of my imaginary friends have ever said to me."

"What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common? They're both alright for a ride until your mates find out!"

"What did a tree say to another tree? Nothing, trees can't talk!"