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Joke of the Day
"""Come together, right now, over me."" -Beatles lyrics or gangbang dialogue"
Next Joke
"I submitted 10 puns to a joke contest to see if any would win. No pun in ten did."
"How do the Chinese pick a name for their child? They throw a spoon down the stairs"
"*is at the movies with hot date* *does fake yawn to put arm around her* *yawns too hard and inhales a child from the row in front* *dies*"
"""You're more likely to be killed in a car wreck than eaten by a shark."" The shark made a convincing argument, so I got out of the cage."
"When Chipotle says, ""Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?"" I pause, then say, ""Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."""
"What do you call the surgery when a woman gets a sex change? Addadictomy"
"Why are there no headache tablets in the jungle? Because the Parrots-eat-em-all. Thank you, I'm here all night."
"[cash4gold] Man in a coat: [holding gold bar] ""How much is this worth?"" ""It's 25 carats..."" [8 rabbits rustle excitedly beneath trench-coat]"
"So my friend called me last night to tell me about how his Swedish car broke down But I told him I didn't have time for his Saab stories"