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Joke of the Day
"What's worse than a dead lawyer? A living one."
Next Joke
"When I was growing up plastic surgery was a bit of a taboo subject... These days if you mention Botox no one raises an eyebrow."
"*posts Social Security number on social media* *hopes someone steals his identity and pays off his mortgage*"
"I would never cheat on my partner. Because that would require two people to find me attractive."
"I hate when people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years I don't have 2020 vision"
"You know the difference between Lego and Sex? If you had to click, then... you'd better stick to Lego."
"Sometimes I wish real world conversation had a 140 character limit."
"''Your call is important to us......please enjoy this 40 minute long flute solo''"
"ME: *trying to fit in* I ALSO don't fly. PENGUINS: *shuffling about while trying to keep their distance* ZOOKEEPER: Sir, get out of the pen."
"What kind of tableware do gym trainers use? Pilates"