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Joke of the Day
"I would never cheat on my partner. Because that would require two people to find me attractive."
Next Joke
"I've always thought I'm pretty hot Probably has something to do with my Dad always calling me sun"
"Why are there no Bruce Lee jokes? Because Bruce Lee is no joke."
"I sometimes miss people I love quite a bit... But my aim is getting better."
"What kinds of birds are raised by only their mothers? Blackbirds"
"If crime doesn't pay... ... than you're doing it wrong."
"What is the good thing about Alzheimer's disease? That you get to meet new people everyday!"
"Small kid : Mom what happens when you die? Mom : Your soul will go to heaven. Small kid : No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?"
"How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. One to screw it almost all the way in and one to give it a surprising twist at the end."
"Ugh, who has time to work out?... I say before a 45 minute nap."