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Joke of the Day

"Always bring a stopwatch to church, guys. You want the girl that spends the longest amount of time in confession."

"My love life is like Santa Claus. It exists thanks to gullible six year olds"

"-""I was the girl that hated you back in high school."" -""I'm sorry, can you be more specific?"""

"Whats the useless skin around the vagina called? The woman... Im sorry"

"How did the Roman cut his hair? Caesar"

"I had to throw away a whole carton eggs this morning. They were all starting to grow a little fowl."

"So Trump says he picked a bunch of great people to run the government... But honestly, I've seen better cabinets at IKEA."

"What's worse than dropping your ice cream? The Holocaust."

"A school finally decided it's ok to show their students a documentary about menstrual cycles. It was about bloody time."

"My son came home from school in tears. ""My girlfriend slept with my best friend,"" he said. I said, ""That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."""