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Joke of the Day

"My son came home from school in tears. ""My girlfriend slept with my best friend,"" he said. I said, ""That's very flattering, I never knew I was your best friend."""

"The difference between a gay guy and a fridge... The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alda ! Alda who ? Alda time you knew who it was !"

"Your gene pool could use a little chlorine."

"If your entire outfit can be purchased at a gas station it's not appropriate for court."

"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"

"""I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE,"" I scream, as a sudden gust of wind blows the spider I threw outside onto my face."

"Q: How much does it cost to get married Dad? A: I don't know son I'm still paying for it."

"A Jewish man was talking to a Hindu man Jew: Yeah, so in my religion we only believe in one God. Hindu: No way! Jew: Yahweh"

"I hate those stupid Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves!"