66117

Joke of the Day

"-""I was the girl that hated you back in high school."" -""I'm sorry, can you be more specific?"""

"Did you know that Helen Kellet was born near Troy, Alabama? I guess that's why they called her ... yhe little deaf girl who couldn't see neither"

"If you used a keyboard with built-in speakers, you would be...? Stereotyping."

"If con is the opposite of pro... It must mean congress is the opposite of progress."

"You know why God loved Mother Mary so much? Virgin Milf ( )"

"Boyfriend's on the phone talking to a guy about lattes and his love of peach scones. I'm on the couch wondering when our periods synced."

"Never marry a woman who was captain of the debate team."

"My wife complained that the Land's End catalog was showing too much camo print this season... I replied: lots of people are suddenly into camo, but I just don't see it."

"Just saw a black guy in Connecticut. Played it cool, though. Only got my picture taken with him twice."

"During a prison break, I saw a midget climb the fence of the prison yard. As he jumped down, he sneered at me... I thought to myself, ""well, that was a little con-descending."""