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Joke of the Day

"*slides $5 to the funeral director* Maybe you can get me the widow's phone number?"

"If you made a wall hanging out of cheap necklaces bought from the merch tables at small, underground rock concerts... Would you have a Decoration of Indie Pendants?"

"What do you call a really good fisherman? A master baiter"

"The cure for premature ejaculation is coming soon."

"People who say love is dead have obviously never seen me eat a burrito."

"It's 364 days until Christmas And people already have their lights up!"

"What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst? God Dam It!"

"Horrible joke I made up as a kid Why are frogs on the endangered species list? Because they croak a lot!"

"i lost my weed in my room does anyone have a drug sniffer dog that can keep a secret"

"Q: What do Bill Clinton and a fifteen-watt light bulb have in common? A: Neither one is very bright."