199045

Joke of the Day

"Why did the blonde call the welfare office? She wanted to know how to cook food stamps!"

"How to be cool: A) use cool sunglasses emoji in everything B)"

"I'm Japanese. I took my Viagra this morning. .. Now I'm ready for erection day."

"A new drink Some bars are serving this new drink called the ""Hurricane Sandy"". It's notjing special, really. It's just a watered down Manhattan."

"Two old ladies are sitting on a park bench A man walks up in a trenchcoat and flashes them. The first lady has a stroke, the second lady couldn't quite reach."

"Stores and their non-secular agendas have switched from selling Christmas stuff to Valentine's Day stuff, completely ignoring Toyotathon."

"Yesterday a bird crashed into my window... ..of course that's what I was willing it to do, so everything worked out great."

"Why is it called a funny bone? Because its humerus!"

"I have the heart of a lion. And a lifetime ban from the Baltimore Zoo."

"Why is Islam a religion of peace? Well.. because Obama said so."