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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a thief and a pervert? A thief ~~steals~~ snatches your watch, a pervert watches your snatch. EDIT: I've done fucked it up."

"Absolute Funniest Joke You Have Ever Heard Whether it be racist, sexist, chemistry related, or something else I triple dog dare you to post it."

"TIL that I'm dyslexic. Whoops, wrong bus."

"I see you're busy. I'll come back and ruin your free time."

"Stalker status update: Good news-I'm not in your house. The bad news-I am UNDER your house and the tunnel is complete."

"""Mom, where did people come from?"" ""God created us"" ""But Dad said we came from monkeys"" ""Dad told you about his side of the family. I am telling you about mine"""

"What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner? Thank you I'll just have a slither."

"Crazy lady next to me forgot to take her meds, flipping out and shit. I hate seeing this. Just going to walk away from my mirror now."

"Why do Spanish beaches have a lot of women? Cos they're playas."

"What's worse than finding a baby in a trashcan? Finding a baby in two trashcans."