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Joke of the Day

"Stalker status update: Good news-I'm not in your house. The bad news-I am UNDER your house and the tunnel is complete."

"Roses are red... This one is screwed up, you've been warned. /our flag is too /raise your hand to the sky /and gas all the jews"

"What rock group has 4 men that do not sing? Mt. Rushmore"

"I was looking at a menu in a restaurant last night, and there was something called the Jeremy Clarkson special. I was wondering what it was, and then it hit me"

"Hey beautiful, is your Dad in prison? Because if I was your Father I would be.."

"Girl adjusts her bra. And no one cares but when a guy adjusts his everybody loses their mind."

"Did you hear about the failed Indian musician? He was hoisted by his own sitar."

"A man with a sheep A man goes home with a sheep under his arm and says ""this is the pig I've been fucking."" His wife says "" that's not a pig, that's a sheep."" The man says ""I wasn't talking to you."""

"16 Sodium atoms walk into a bar... Followed by Batman."

"I don't ""fuck"" my wife. I ""make fuck"" to her."