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Joke of the Day

"How did they come up with Canada's name? Well first they picked a C, eh. Then an N, eh. Then a D, eh."

"Why did the photographer get arrested? He was charged with shooting kids and framing the parents."

"[hiding in pantry from murderer] [quietly tries to open bag of chips]"

"What do you call the ultimate fish doctor? The Sturgeon General"

"The NFL sent a memo reminding players to treat women reporters with respect. Oh, and to try real hard not to rape anyone this season."

"What did the pirate with a wheel in his pants say. Arr, I don't know what it is but it's drivin' me nuts!"

"[Fortune Teller] ""I see great wealth, also danger."" Oh. ""And blue meth. Walt Jr. is crippled."" Are you watching Breaki- ""Jesse is so hot."""

"POUR SOME HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP ON ME!!!!"

"If you're not into barrier reefs you will HATE the Great Barrier Reef"

"So i was at lunch with a small girl she kept complainin bout how she wanted vanilla ice cream so i said this girl like ice cream cuz she as white as vanilla!"