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Joke of the Day

"What did the pirate with a wheel in his pants say. Arr, I don't know what it is but it's drivin' me nuts!"

"Drumpf's presidential campaign in reverse: an increasingly laughable story of an egomaniac running for an office he couldn't possibly win"

"Life is like a box of chocolates... it doesn't last long if you're fat."

"I'm not sure what this guy shaking a cup of change at people wants. He must just be bragging that he has change."

"I like my women how I like my whiskey. 12 years old and all mixed up in coke. (sorry if its a repost, haven't seen it yet.)"

"You could film me for a month and still not have enough footage for a 30 second 'Rocky training' typed montage of my productiveness at work."

"How do you spot a blind guy at a nude beach? It isn't hard"

"Are you supposed to wear the fanny pack over the gut or underneath it? I don't want to look like a dork."

"How do you get 1000 cows into a barn ?? - hold a bingo !!"

"A father says to his son, Father: son stop masturbating so much or you'll go blind Son: dad I'm over here"