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Joke of the Day

"[hiding in pantry from murderer] [quietly tries to open bag of chips]"

"What do you call a scouser in a suit? The defendant."

"[boss's office] BOSS: Do you like my fire place? ME: Actually, it's one word: ""fireplace"" BOSS: You're fired ME: Oh, I get it now"

"What do you call an Asian woman with a leg shorter than the other? Irene"

"What do you call a typo on a tombstone A grave mistake."

"My therapist cries ""Why me?"" for the full hour."

"Christopher walked walks in, he sits down and says... Hey. Guy. I threw a hotdog down, the highway. The hooker, was already dead."

"I'm going camping this weekend with a bunch of models. It's going to be pretty in tents."

"I went out for a vindaloo last night and my arse is really sore today I can't believe some of the things I do for a free curry."

"If you're happy and you know it, thank your ex."