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Joke of the Day

"Why did the Crab not share any plankton with his friends? Because he was shellfish."

"Damn boy! What's your zodiac sign? Bc I think we should make that Sagittariuu into SagittariUS Oh you're a Leo? Le OH ..where are you going?"

"If you love something set it free,unless it's a lion. Don't do that."

"What do you call a jackass in the mafia? A donkey."

"Where do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."

"Barkeep. Send a drink over to little ms. thang over there. Tell her it's from me Sir, that's a Ms. Pac-Man machine *raises glass, winks*"

"I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high."

"It doesn't matter if it's fight club or book club or some other kind of club, I guarantee I don't want to talk about it."

"What do you get when you cross a feminist with a non-feminist? Triggernometry"

"What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world? Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)"