76155
Joke of the Day
"If you love something set it free,unless it's a lion. Don't do that."
Next Joke
"We have it so good in America that once a year we voluntarily do migrant work and call it apple picking."
"[everyone in the STI clinic glaring at my Pokemon shirt] ""No no it means like, I want to catch all the Pokemon"""
"[breakup] Who should get the cat? ""I don't know...let's see who he loves the most"" {3 weeks later} Can you tell? ""Nope"""
"I like to take an empty Krispy Kreme donut box to work and sit in the break room and watch all of the disappointed faces"
"Familiarity with a stranger might mean they're an old soul you knew in a former life. But it's more likely a sociopath. ~Inspirational"
"What do you call a weak cup of tea? Subtlety."
"Don't spend money on body modification. If you wait long enough, your body modifies itself for free."
"In the latest federal North Korean election, Kim Jung Un won 100% of the vote. A landslide victory against his sole competitor: ""*Or else*""."
"A baby's laugh is one of the most beautiful things a person can hear... ...unless it's 3 a.m., and you're home alone, and you don't have any kids."