138128

Joke of the Day

"Bond, Jamaal Bond A black James Bond? Wouldn't work, he'd be pulled over every 15 minutes for driving an Aston Martin."

"What does an Italian have when one arm is shorter than the other? A speech impediment."

"What's the most depressed thing in the bathroom? The toilet. It always takes all the shit."

"What did Dexter forget to bring to Art Class? Supplies Mother Fucker"

"Use ""damn it"" instead of ""dammit,"" but avoid cursing unless OH SHIT DAMN IT WHO FORGOT TO GET FUCKING COFFEE."

"what's a good pick-up line in a gay bar? Can I push your stool in?"

"What's Natalie Portman's favorite element? Thorium."

"I got a paper cut writing my suicide note It's a start"

"I like my women so intelligent that it takes me days to realize I was insulted."

"So. Like. We're all just gonna ignore the rapture that's supposed to happen?"