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Joke of the Day

"Have you ever considered letting your wife sleep with a marriage counselor? - me as a marriage counselor"

"I went tonthe zoo and all they had was one small dog and an empty gorilla enclosure... It was a shotzu."

"What did the Maple syrup farmer say when he saw a good looking maple tree? ""I'd tap that."""

"If only closed minds came with closed mouths."

"Accidentally ate a ball of wasabi the size of a marble and now I can smell math"

"If you wore corduroy to a job interview, what kind of an impression would you leave? I feel like this is a great setup, but I can't think of a punchline. Any help, reddit?"

"*crowd in 1889 screaming because I appeared out of thin air and shot a baby* that was Baby Hitler...everyone calm down that was Baby Hitler"

"What comes before OP? QWERTYUI"

"""Um excuse me, my eyes are up here. And here. And here, here, here, here, and here."" - spider with big tits"

"my favorite part of nascar is when I vomit all over my shirt and car after the race., desecrating the logos of the brands that enslave me"