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Joke of the Day

"My favorite mythical creature is the Honest Politician"

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Addictionary"

"I smoked before going to the dentist & didn't know they would let me have laughing gas &watch Netflix Im cross faded af having the best time"

"Why are vampire families so close? Because blood is thicker than water."

"*at casino* When he hands you $100 and asks you to go get chips, do not ask him Doritos or Lays. Get both. It will leave him speechless."

"I like my women how I like my exams... Curvy."

"When I see a flash mob in public I immediately join in to make it seem like they didn't practice enough."

"What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving? Derive, derive, derive!"

"Why did the condom suddenly go flying across the room? Because he was pissed off."

"Oh you got ""Swag""? Don't forget to put that on your Burger King Application."