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Joke of the Day

"Accidentally ate a ball of wasabi the size of a marble and now I can smell math"

"What is the hardest thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb on her twice before she gets it. I'm going to hell.."

"i had a dream a policeman came into my apartment and gave me a field sobriety test and i failed and went to jail"

"I like to yawn in front of people so they yawn and then I can say ""You're tired I should go."""

"I went to the zoo this past weekend. The only animal they had was a dog... it was a shih tzu."

"Q. How do you confuse a blonde? A. Put her in a circular room and tell her to sit in the corner."

"I'm on chapter two of the dictionary and this thing is just so disconnected. Like, what happened to the aardvark from the beginning?"

"Sex has a speed limit It's 68, because when you get to 69 you have to turn around"

"Unshakable Fact # 1 A girl is said to be grown up when she starts wearing a bra. A boy is grown up when he starts removing them."

"(Real news) In Florida, a truck filled with $120,000-worth of chocolate was stolen. Police warn the thieves could be armed and PMSing."