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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a dolphin that is out of the water? Dolphout"

"If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss"

"Chicago wins World Series for first time since 1908 In other news, Chicago burns to ground for first time since 1871."

"Batman: Use this spotlight to call me. Robin: What if it's daytime? Batman: *glares at Robin* Gordon: Yeah, what if it- Batman: *smoke bomb*"

"Stormtroopers never miss. They're just trained to fire a 21 shot salute to celebrate the commencement of every firefight."

"4-year-old: *looks at our pig* Which pig is she? Me: What do you mean? 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks?"

"How many feminists do you need to replace a lightbulb? Only 1, she'll hold the bulb in place and wait while the world revolves around her."

"I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today. I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead."

"What's the difference between Pizza and Jews during the Holocaust? Pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven."

"Why is the new Brexit diet so popular? All you gotta be is a little more than halfway into it and the pounds will start falling."