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Joke of the Day

"4-year-old: *looks at our pig* Which pig is she? Me: What do you mean? 4: Is her house made of bricks or sticks?"

"I caught my wife in bed with another man, I was crushed... So I said, ""Get off me you two!"""

"Why do women talk so much? Because they have 4 lips."

"Mickey and Minnie go to get divorced... When the judge asks for the reason, Mickey: ""Because my wife is fucking goofy."" Judge: ""You mean she's crazy?"" Mickey: ""No, she's just fucking goofy!"""

"What do you call a bunch of Indians running down a hill? A: A mudslide How do you make one? A: Roll a coin down a hill Who is the richest man in India? A: The guy who got the coin"

"My Grandpa: killed 17 Nazis and singlehandedly saved his entire battalion in WWII Me: Sits around all day making up stories about my Grandpa"

"What did the fog say to the grass? I mist you!"

"Why did the grammar nazi request someone else's tombstone to be placed on his grave? He was a big fan of transferred epitaph."

"How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the microwave till it's Bill Withers."

"What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention? The caterer."