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Joke of the Day
"What car does Catwoman drive? A Purrgeot."
Next Joke
"My kids will be friends with people of all colors of the rainbow. That means no black people. (Credit goes to a person on either America's Got Talent or Britain's Got Talent, can't remember which)"
"What did that cannibal do after dumping his girlfriend? Wiped his ass"
"It's been scientifically proven that women who worry are smart. I must be a freaking genius."
"I don't want to know the truth. Lie to me and make it ok."
"What's the definition of Parity? Two parrots exactly the same!"
"Can anyone help me with starting a rocket science club at school? I'm having trouble getting it off the ground."
"Have you ever smelled Moth Balls? How'd you get your head between it's legs??.."
"I peel my underwear off as you watch me & then hand it to you, Smiling You know what's coming next.. It's your turn to do the laundry"
"TIFU by reading a TIFU I forgot they're always horrible. Tl;dr: TIFU = bad"