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Joke of the Day

"Can anyone help me with starting a rocket science club at school? I'm having trouble getting it off the ground."

"One girl did a presentation in hittites and she went through while presentation... straight faced calling it ""high-titties"" everyone was losing it and she couldn't figure out why."

"Two fish were in a tank... One says to the other: you shoot, I'll drive"

"What's yellow and flashes? A banana with a loose connection."

"My girlfriend and I have an intimate relationship, but she got upset when I was using her toothbrush. So I just said 'Hey, if YOU have a better way to get dogshit out of sneakers...'"

"""what if today's the day you learn about tacos and ostriches? You don't want to miss that, do you?"" - me manipulating my kid to school."

"When I was 8, my best friend & I had a big fight. The next week his family moved away. Dave, if you're reading this, I still hate your guts."

"German humor... It's no laughing matter."

"Why do so many dyslexic vegans move to Dallas? For the Sallad"

"The cheetah is the fastest land mammal right after a politician backpedaling about an opinion he didn't want the public to know about"