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Joke of the Day

"I'll admit it... I'm a horny TV And i'm turned on by remotes..."

"Yay summer! *gets drunk outside* Yay winter! *gets drunk inside*"

"But I love food, why would it want to poison me? :("

"His last words were, ""I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."""

"Want to hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell into mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Three men taking a shower together."

"What does Mr. T say when he walks into a buffet? I pity the full!"

"What do you get when you administer marijuana to cows? High steaks! (I'll just see my way out...)"

"If only Africa had more mosquito nets... ...then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids. - Jimmy Carr"

"The reason I hate my girlfriend a vegan She doesn't like to eat meat if you know what I mean."

"An alien, a predator and a terminator walk into a bar... and then... I've got nothing. Someone finish the joke!"