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Joke of the Day
"Yay summer! *gets drunk outside* Yay winter! *gets drunk inside*"
Next Joke
"Wife: Did you do the dishes like I asked? Me: Sorry I was busy W: Doing what? *cat rides by on Roomba wearing gladiator outfit* Me: Uh.."
"Accounting Joke Hey Guys Need a good accounting related joke for work, if anyone has any good ones please share"
"My dog Minton just ate my shuttle cock. Bad Minton."
"My girlfriend walked in on me again while I was eating cake frosting she'd hidden in the fridge. I hate getting caught masticating."
"So last year I dressed up as a bop it for Halloween... I should've known I'd end up in jail"
"How come about the ""About the Author"" never includes anything negative? ""He was born in Indiana where he's widely regarded as a scumbag."""
"Bought some gary speed wallpaper last night, its amazing! it hung itself!"
"A man finds a job at an elephant circumcision office. His salary is so low that he wants to quit, but then he sees that the tips are huge!"
"5 years ago when 'House of Cards' started we said, 'That's so scary.' Now Trump is here and we're like, 'hahaha, House of Cards is adorable'"