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Joke of the Day

"An alien, a predator and a terminator walk into a bar... and then... I've got nothing. Someone finish the joke!"

"Why do Belgians eat their french fries out of a funnel? They never want to lose a brown one once they've been burned"

"Women don't like bass players, apparently... Whenever I say I like thick G-strings they allways walk away, I don't know why."

"Thanks for keeping your Instagram account private. I'd hate for those pictures of your lunch to fall into the wrong hands."

"What do you get if you mix Lassie and a canteloupe? Melon-Collie."

"I'm a suicide bomber with confidence issues, AMA! EDIT: Wow, this blew up!"

"I'm not saying your mom is fat but she'd be worth a lot more in the UK"

"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"

"A Nicki Minaj song makes way more sense if you make up your own lyrics."

"If I had a crystal ball, I'd probably walk differently."