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Joke of the Day

"His last words were, ""I'm just going to tell her to calm down, and remind her that she still hasn't made dinner."""

"How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, but it's at least 6, because my basement is still dark!!"

"I always like to have snacks while I surf porn. That way, I'm packing on the poundage while I'm pounding on the package."

"Lesbians should not be allowed to buy dildos, they made their choice!!"

"There's this great joke I read on 9gag..."

"The only thing more predictable than the conspiracy theories is some people's inability to distinguish Indonesia from Malaysia. #AirAsia"

"BREAKING: Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured."

"Me: That the new iPhone? Him: Yup! The 5S! Me: What's the difference? Him: The C stands for ""Cheap"" Me: What about the S? Him: ""'Spensive"""

"How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? Trick question, feminists can't change anything."

"What does Trump grab this month? What does Trump grab this month........ Octo-Pussy"